I have had this blog for a long time. The first post was February 18th of 2010 and since then I have posted things I have found on the internet that amused me along side tidbits of my writing. I have used this blog to host my short story “Dreaming of White Marble Tombstones” and excerpts from the larger novel I am working on.
Nothing earth shattering for sure. But it is a lovely way for me to keep track of things and let my friends and family see what twisted shit lies within this brain of mine.
I wasn’t able to do much more with it until recently. Posting anything personal was forbidden. Hinting that there was a person behind these posts, unthinkable. This blog was a glimpse into my world, yet never more than a passing glance upon the beauty of a still pool, it’s depths hidden and unknown.
Perhaps it is better if it stays that way. But the bindings that have held me back for so long are no longer there. I no longer have to worry about being ‘allowed’ to write about myself or my family. I will still maintain some distance for safety’s sake. I know this is a public venture after all, and as such, one much take care what information they allow the public to see. But I want people to know that yes, there is a person behind these writings, and yes, I have thoughts and feelings beyond the short stories and prose I write.
As always, I am an ephemeral prosaist, my writings are few and far between but rest assured they shall come, even more often if I am given the pleasure of responses from my audience. Proving to me I write not just for myself gives me incentive to write more often so feel free to comment here or on facebook.
Much of my free time is given over to my hobbies. Role Play, both online and live action, video games of all sorts, and my eternal love, beadwork. I even sell some of my beadwork in hopes of bringing in some extra money with which to buy more beads. (Shameless plug)
Role play has brought me some of my closest friends. It is where I met my husband as well as given me the opportunity to see the world through eyes not my own. It has honed my writing skill and given me confidence I can take into other aspects of my life.
My faith is personal and strong. I might go into it more here in another post, but there are things that I don’t feel comfortable talking about yet. Politics and religion being the top two. Just know that I am well aware of the majesty of the world around me and I take comfort in that knowledge.
Both of these things, my hobbies and my faith has allowed me to confront the shadows from my past and helps me to work through the darkness that taints my soul. I suffer from anxiety attacks due to the Dark Times I have suffered. My husband is a blessing in my life because he knows what it’s like to have to deal this these particular shadows, and his hand has guided me more often than once though the nightmares that follow.
At this point of my life I am truly blessed. I never thought it could be this good.
I am hoping to make this blog more of an open expression of who I am as a person, as well as a writer. My day to day life may be boring, or they may inspire. Who knows? My favorite quote is by Maya Angelou, “A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.” I write because it pours from my soul, not because I have some great lesson to teach or because I know how to fix the world.
I am who I am and I am content with that.