Grief is the price of love. It can be hard to bear, agonizing in its own special way. It never truly leaves us, only scabs over. A painfully slow desensitization to it until it fades into the background noise in your mind, waiting until something pulls our attention to it once more.
It is never truly gone, it just sinks down into the love that sparked it, coloring our memories.
If you love something, and that thing goes away, you grieve. The deeper the attachment to that entity you love just means that when those hooks were created they were set deep down in your soul. That is a love that shakes you, one that clutches at your heart until you are fit to burst. It makes sense the pain of their loss is felt just as deeply.
My tears are a blessing, they marked the passing of something important. It washes the soul of that entity clean and blesses them with the knowledge of one thing before they face the terrifying trek through the veil. The knowledge they were loved.
My tears also cleanse the wound left behind so I may begin to heal. It may take weeks, months, decades before I recover enough to call myself healed. I may never reach that point at all but I will tell you; the wound is worth it. Having just gone through the pain of loss, to still feel it’s tight grip around my lungs and as someone who’s eyes are still wet with tears, yes, that wound may never heal, but it is absolutely worth it.
Look, I don’t have to tell you life is hard. Some days you wonder if you are gonna make it, if the pain you feel will ever end. I know those depths all too well. Life _hurts_. But the joy, the deep sense of belonging, of comfort when you feel loved? It is one of a very small set of things that make this life worth fighting for.
Endure despite the pain, show them they are loved, the unknown is terrifying and they shouldn’t face it alone.
Rest in peace Inara, your suffering is over. Thank you for sharing your brief time in this world with me.